My wife and I both like to cook. A lot. Her strengths are meat, grilling, and sauces. Mine are soups and baking. We’re a great combination in the kitchen, but sometimes things just go wrong. (Remember the “occasional disasters” in my tagline?) Like, stabbing with a knife wrong (before anyone gets concerned about domestic violence, keep reading).
We moved to Philadelphia when I graduated from college because that’s where I had the best job offer. We wanted to live in the city, and on an entry level salary it meant living in a shoebox. Our apartment was probably the size of the living room in our current house. Our kitchen was small and awkward, but we made the best of it. One of these days I’ll do a post on making the most of a kitchen the size of a postage stamp. Anyway, the kitchen was square shaped, and it was just big enough for us to both stand in it and rotate in place. So what does this have to do with stabbings? Well, we didn’t have a dishwasher, so we had to hand wash everything. One night I was washing the dishes, she was standing behind me drying. I handed her a paring knife (which wouldn’t go in the dishwasher anyway) to dry. Yeah, you see where this is going. For whatever reason, I took a step backward. Why would I do that in such a tiny kitchen?! Where did I think I was going?! “Aaahhhhooowwww! You stabbed me!” “You backed into it!” “Ok, yeah, I did, but I still got stabbed!” I was fine and we laugh about it now, but you will still hear us yell “knife!!!” when one of us is in motion with a knife, even in our much larger kitchen. “Hot,” “behind,” or any combination hot-knife-behind are also pretty common around here. Lesson: Warn your spouse so you don’t stab each other!
Here are some other rules from our kitchen, in no particular order. Ok, some of them are just my rules, but whatever.
- If you’re not doing the dishes, don’t criticize the person loading the dishwasher (I’ll admit this is my rule because I’m normally the one receiving the criticism, usually for not rinsing or scrubbing dishes enough. Sorry honey. Not sorry. You still love me.)
- It’s better to give feedback when it’s been solicited if a dish is still in process. (Duh that needs more seasoning, I’m still adjusting! Did I ask you to taste it yet??)
- Feedback when the food is done is fair game.
- Sometimes we will need to be rescued. Ask for help! And give help.
- Dont’t scrape knife blade across the cutting board to move ingredients. FFS flip it over and scrape with the dull side! Knives are sacred around here.
- Disasters happen. As long as we’re ok, laugh and move on. And then laugh about it more later. (Uhhh… like the caramel I caught on fire or milk I burned. Oops.)
- Can we please not argue about whether convection is appropriate for this situation?
- You can’t be perfect all the time. Don’t have a meltdown if something isn’t working. (Refer to the point on asking for help. This is mostly my wife’s rule for me.)
If you’re reading this, honey, I love you. 💕